m -

I can see clearly now...

Publicerad 2016-09-26 13:05:00 i Free,

The rain has gone away :)

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I'm so sad

Publicerad 2016-01-21 12:09:00 i Free,

Everything hurts. Me.

I can't take it.

Reminders all around me.

I feel like I'm sinking into a hole.

I'm crawling to get up.

I'm really trying!

"Help me!" I shout.

Knowing that I hate asking for it.

But nobody comes.

They can hear me.

But nobody comes.

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I think it hurts

Publicerad 2015-08-20 10:57:52 i Free,

I shouldn't worry.

But I do.

I shouldn't admit it.

Knock on wood.

Live for today. Live for the rest of your life. My life. I should stop worrying.

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I still wander. I still wonder.

Publicerad 2015-08-09 18:47:00 i Free,

I'm still here. Even though I've moved on.

"What's wrong with me?!" I'm shouting in my mind.

I should be so happy. I am so happy! But somehow... it's not enough? Or is it? I can't tell anymore...

Sometimes I just want to be far, far away. But if I were, maby I'd still be unhappy?

Maby I just don't know what I want right now. Maby it's because I know and don't have it?

I've changed my life so much the last couple of years and it always felt so good! But now... it's starting to feel like... I have doubts? But how can I? I know the past wasn't right for me, still I wonder how it could be... going back. Yet, I do wonder if I feel these things for me, or for the idea of me in others?

Though I feel that the fact that I've questioned this now makes the answer pretty clear.

Right?

Maby one day I'll learn...

One day I will learn.

One day I will know.

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It tickles

Publicerad 2015-01-26 11:32:16 i Free,

Running my fingers through my short hair in my neck. It tickles me. It feels like an animal back there. In the best way possible.

I've decided. For now. And it tickles me.

I've decided to focus on me. On the home. On right now. Even though I get anxious, I'm really trying not to be. Even if it's ok to be, I don't want to be. That's why I'm trying. So hard. And when I succeed, even if it is just for a little while, it tickles me. And I love it.

Now I try to focus on today, but can't help thinking about the future. The beautiful future that is our lives. It tickles my mind. In the best possible way.

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M

Publicerad 2014-12-27 22:56:00 i Free,

Sometimes I feel I'm eather all in or all out. Or more like.. all the time.

In work, and/or in family life.

I think... I really do not know what I want?

I thought I did, work, study, work, children, family and so on. I had a plan. I've always had this plan. Not sure om what to work with or study, but in a certain order. But now, although I've already checked of a few different jobs and studies, I thought that I had a solid plan like: This is how my life is going to be! And it felt nice, comforting eaven. Then... I dont know, it changes, life, I suppose. And our plans are made even though we all know it's probably not going to go down that way.

Maby I just have to listen to my heart... or should I listen to my brain? 'Cause they're telling me two different things! So far, listening to my brain has gotten me terrible stress and feeling uncomfortable, but on the other hand, a steady income.. at the price of my health..? Now I find myself in a similar situation again and I do not know wich way to go? What to focus on. I know what I want to do, and I know what the "smart" choice would be. So maby I should just go with what I want? Then again I'm feeling very: "am I a fool for passing this opportunity up?" Am I..? Or should I go with my gut that's telling me "just say no, it's to much and you're going to get yourself in the same situation as last time!" And that's what started this whole roller coaster in the first place. ... I guess I'm just scared.. of making the "wrong" choice -in other peoples eyes. Why does it feel like I have to defend what I want so badly? Why can't I just allow myself to be happy, be happy with what is and forget about what others say! You don't need them anyways.

I only have one category to place my words in, and I've named it "free". As a reminder. And it just did, reminded me that is, of why I started this blog. To be free to be me and to do what makes me happy. Love.

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Trust your gut

Publicerad 2014-10-06 16:59:07 i Free,

Words that spoke to me today:

"Choices are something we have to make throughout the entirety of our lifetime, and sometimes they’re clear as day. But some that aren’t so easily figured out. You could spend a lifetime weighing the different outcomes…thinking of all those “what if’s”…It’s tiring.

If I’ve learned anything so far in life, it’s to go with your intuition, and to listen to your gut."

Trust the vibes you get, energy doesn’t lie.

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Don't worry

Publicerad 2014-09-01 11:41:37 i Free,

Breathe in. Breathe out.

The universe will speak to you.

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I can't belive I'm here again...

Publicerad 2014-08-22 21:18:25 i Free,

I'm so sorry to write this...

Again, I do not know where my life is going. And it's so frustrating.

I just want to... be done I guess? Done with finding my place in this world, is it ever possible? I hate that I feel this way. Again! I thought that I was done?!

And just as I am accepting the change, I get tossed back into not knowing! If frustration was quicksand, I would be knees deep in it. Wondering if I should just sink in or if it's worth fighting, crying, longing to get up.

Please talk to me! My beautiful soul, please, please.

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This is it now

Publicerad 2013-12-20 14:08:16 i Free,

I can't believe how much that have happend since I last wrote.

It finally feels like my life has begun.

I just want to shout out how happy I feel!

I have moved away from where I felt unhappy, both in body and mind. I feel so free in one way, and terrifyed in another. But in such a good way!

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It's funny...

Publicerad 2013-08-25 17:01:00 i Free,

How life is supposed to be.

How it turns out to be.

I thought I had what I wanted, but just reading these future posts makes me realize even more that I wasn't happy, wasn't satisfyed.

Tomorrow I begin a new adventure, that I hope will be the future I've been looking for.

With butterflies in my stomach and a little bit of anxiety in my brain.

-I will do this, I can do this.

I will stop being scared and I will leap.

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I feel summer

Publicerad 2013-06-24 11:28:28 i Free,

I wanna feel the summer air. I want to feel free. I want to figure out my life. And I want it to be amazing. I don't wanna be afraid. I don't want to worry. I want to be free to be who I am supposed to be. And I want to figure out who that person is.