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Sometimes I feel I'm eather all in or all out. Or more like.. all the time.
In work, and/or in family life.
I think... I really do not know what I want?
I thought I did, work, study, work, children, family and so on. I had a plan. I've always had this plan. Not sure om what to work with or study, but in a certain order. But now, although I've already checked of a few different jobs and studies, I thought that I had a solid plan like: This is how my life is going to be! And it felt nice, comforting eaven. Then... I dont know, it changes, life, I suppose. And our plans are made even though we all know it's probably not going to go down that way.
Maby I just have to listen to my heart... or should I listen to my brain? 'Cause they're telling me two different things! So far, listening to my brain has gotten me terrible stress and feeling uncomfortable, but on the other hand, a steady income.. at the price of my health..? Now I find myself in a similar situation again and I do not know wich way to go? What to focus on. I know what I want to do, and I know what the "smart" choice would be. So maby I should just go with what I want? Then again I'm feeling very: "am I a fool for passing this opportunity up?" Am I..? Or should I go with my gut that's telling me "just say no, it's to much and you're going to get yourself in the same situation as last time!" And that's what started this whole roller coaster in the first place. ... I guess I'm just scared.. of making the "wrong" choice -in other peoples eyes. Why does it feel like I have to defend what I want so badly? Why can't I just allow myself to be happy, be happy with what is and forget about what others say! You don't need them anyways.
I only have one category to place my words in, and I've named it "free". As a reminder. And it just did, reminded me that is, of why I started this blog. To be free to be me and to do what makes me happy. Love.
